Dear Poppy,
How do I say, “No,” if I really don’t want to accept someone’s invitation to dance? Do I have to dance every time I am asked? There must be a polite way to say no without giving offense or using a false excuse.
No Thanks
Dear No Thanks,
Saying no is not very nice, Sweetie. Even if you know that the person asking is not a good dancer, you should dance at least one dance unless the person is abusive or has harmed you when dancing in the past. Also, don’t forget, it is rude to decline one person’s invitation and accept the next one’s. Even excuses like, “Thank you, I am taking a break,” or “Thank you, I’ve promised this dance to someone else,”are a a rejection to the person asking. “No, thank you,” or “Not just now; maybe later” should be used with integrity.
Dear Poppy,
Sometimes when I am sitting with a friend a leader will come up to us and ask, “Would either of you care to dance with me?” This drives me crazy. Does he think that he has a better chance if he asks both of us. Please let all leaders know that women do not like to be asked to dance in groups.
Not a Groupie
Dear Not a Groupie,
This is for you, Sugar. Asking two people to dance at the same time will probably lead to rejection from both. Leaders, be decisive when asking someone to dance! You must appear confident so you won’t get turned down. When asking, make clear eye contact, offer your hand, and speak clearly. “Would you like to dance?” is a perfectly acceptable phrase. Something similar will also do just fine, Honey.
Ms. Poppy Chiffon — the doyenne of dance, the baroness of ballroom etiquette, the sultana of Southern hospitality — is pleased to answer your dance-related questions. Here are a few queries that Poppy deigned to extract from her mailbag this week. If you have a question that you would like Poppy Chiffon to address, please e-mail her at askpoppy@dancestationusa.com. Ms. Chiffon regrets that she cannot respond individually to questions.
